Through my many years of working with a wide variety of couples, I’ve discovered a unique and very successful methodology for doing couple’s counseling. I will initially meet with the couple for several consecutive hours at a time (if at all possible and with the couple’s agreement) and do an in-depth evaluation of the couple. At the end of the initial session, the couple and I become clear about the issues that need to be addressed and resolved. Step number 2 involves meeting with the people individually and doing thorough in-depth individual assessments. If I discover that one or both clients have significant individual issues, that might include depression, anxiety, early child sexual abuse or addictions of any kind, it has become obvious that these individual problems must be dealt with first.
Throughout my 35 years of treating couples, I have found that it is simply not possible to deal with his/her and their problems all at the same time. I have found that couples counseling can only be successful when both individuals are well on their way to dealing with their own individual issues. Then and only then is it really possible to fully focus and resolve the couple’s problems.
- A recent study found that 50% of women had difficulty becoming aroused
- 46% of women experienced difficulty achieving orgasm
- 15% of women were unable to achieve orgasm
- 33% of men had difficulty with pre-mature ejaculation
- 52% of men between the ages of 40 and 70 had problems with erectile dysfunction.
In my work with hundreds of couples and individuals I’ve identified 10 reasons (emotional, psychiatric and physical) why couples have problems in the bedroom. Once we’ve identified which of these 10 basic issues are problematic to the specific couple and /or individual, I have been able to proceed and help hundreds of individuals and couples successfully resolve their sexual problems.
How To Put the Sizzle in Your Sex Life! -- by Beatty Cohan, MSW, LCSW
How are Men and Women Really Doing in the Bedroom?
A recent Pittsburgh Western Psychiatric study involving 100 happy and very happily married heterosexual couples found that:
A. 50% of the women had difficulty becoming aroused.
B. 46% of the women had difficulty achieving orgasm.
C. 15% of women were unable to achieve orgasm under any circumstances.
D. 33% of the men experienced problems with pre-mature ejaculation
E. 52% of men between the ages of 40-70 reported problems with erectile dysfunction.
If this is what is going on in the bedrooms of couples who describe their marriages as happy or very happy, one can only imagine the sexual difficulties that couples are experiencing whose marriages are less than satisfying. In fact, I see couples of all ages and stages in life who rarely if ever have sex!
Did you know that there are 10 reasons why people have problems in the bedroom? Unless all of these issues are fully explored and acknowledged, addressed and resolved, sex will continue to be a major source of frustration and disappointment for the majority of men and women DESPITE LYBRIDO or any other drug.
1. We need to be in a healthy emotional state if we plan on having a good relationship, sexual or otherwise with anyone. Knowledge, address and resolve issues including:depression, anxiety, stress, low self-esteem, eating disorders, substance abuse, early child sexual abuse, religious beliefs, etc.
2. Our relationship must be healthy and satisfying if we are to enjoy a satisfying sexual relationship.
3. Sexual side effects of prescription medications including SSRI’s, hi blood pressure medication, diabetes, meds, etc.
4. Sexual side effects of alcohol, pot, cocaine, etc.
5. Challenges of illnesses, including cancer, heart disease, hysterectomy, etc.
6. Menopause and Hormone replacement for men and women.
7. Erectile dysfunction. Get a diagnosis. Is there nerve damage, blocked vessels, depression, performance anxiety, alcohol, drugs? The good news: Levitra, cialis, viagra, vacuum device, implants, injections, sensate focus, etc.
8. Pre-mature ejaculation. Fairly easy to resolve this issue. TECHNIQUES, etc/
9. What do women want sexually? EMOTIONAL FOREPLAY and sufficient physical foreplay, including manual and oral stimulation. Most women require between 15-20 minutes of physical foreplay before being ready to have intercourse.
10. Be adventurous. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. The importance of communication. Vibrators, porn, lubricants. Whatever turns you on !
Make dates for sex. If you are always waiting for the ‘perfect’ time, it may rarely if ever happen. The Nike commercial’s message was powerful.......Just DO IT!!!! It’s amazing what can happen.